Insecurity

Hi Yall,

I want to talk to you about insecurity and how it shows how it manifests itself in our behaviors and even in our relationships with others. This is one aspect of insecurity, however, it’s not all aspects. We sometimes think of insecurity as an outward statement of our appearance; when in actuality its anything or any area in which there’s a lack of security. If there is a lack of food options and ability to access food, that can be called food insecurity. When a building has foundational, structural issues that building could be considered insecure. Anything that lacks security, results in insecurity. For the purpose of todays blog, I want to explore a lack of security in our self-worth and relationships with others.

One way insecurity can manifest itself is in the impulsive, compulsive need to define people, and hold on to them and own them. When we don't have enough security within ourselves or even within our relationships, or values others, that can result in the desire to “own” those people and relationships. When I use the phrase “own them”, I’m referring to the domineering and possessive nature that can happen when we fear we don’t have a secure foundation or situation with ourselves or those around us.

This character trait can have the tendency to smother or even question people. Insecurity can show itself in the need to know every single thing about people, because the more you know maybe the more that will help you in keeping that person engaged in the relationship. This act can bring with it terms like clingy, bothersome, or even irritating. Have those terms ever been used with you? Have you ever used those terms to describe someone else in your life? Are you afraid of losing relationships and people around you? Sometimes we can be unaware of ourselves and lack understanding on how we’re coming off to people what you're putting out in the world.

So, it just made me think about times I’ve acted in this way and how it robbed me of amazing situations. I also wanted to encourage people that may not be self-aware to how insecurity really looks and is displayed in our actions and behaviors. No one on the outside can validate or make you feel secure on the inside. Yes, there are certain actions and considerations that can take place to inspire security however, the work starts within. Its imperative to understand that you, within yourself, are amazing and you’re a beneficial part of other’s lives also. You add value and bring something to the table even if you can’t fully see yourself at that moment. Its up to you to know that without anyone telling you that. You have to know it just as sure as you know that 2 plus 2 equals 4.

There are certain people that I feel very secure with because I know my value in their life. I know what I bring to the table. But there are other people that I'm not sure what I bring to the table or if I bring any value or make their life better or easier or whatever the case; those are the relationships in which I feel most insecurity. Again, that's not their issue or problem to solve. It has to begin within. We must question what it is that is inspiring this lack of security and address it head on. There are certain people and relationships we shouldn’t have around us in our inner circles. If the wrong person is given access, it may be disrupting the environment within you. Take not of those things and again address them accordingly. My book, Your Relationship With You, helps you to identify yourself and your value in relation to God. That level of security is not easily swayed. If empowers you to know exactly who you are therefore removing the inner insecurity with self. Once “self” is secure, the rest will fall into place.